Assistants are characters you create to help you become a meme mogul. You can find the Assistants page under the "User" menu.


Click the "Hire New Assistant" link to create your assistant. The hiring process requires just a name and an avatar, which you create using the same avatar creator that is used for your own main avatar. The first Assistant is always available. In order to hire a second Assistant you must complete 100 missions, a third requires 1,000, a fourth requires 10,000, and so on.

Assistants have 5 different kinds of stats. Every time the assistant levels up it gets an additional point to spend on any of the stats. Every stat has a max level of 15. With gear equipped the stat level can go over 15, but only 15 points worth of bonuses are used for calculations.

  • Ambition
    • Controls how much of a reward the assistant will receive upon successfully completing a mission
    • 10% per point
  • Dependability
    • Controls the chance that a mission will succeed
    • 3% per point
  • Efficiency
    • Controls the speed of mission completion
    • 5% per point
  • Fashion Sense
    • Controls the chance and quality level of gear drops
    • 3% gear drop chance per point
    • 1% gear quality per point
  • Work Ethic
    • Controls the amount of experience gained per mission and the affects the salary of the assistant
    • 10% experience increase per point
    • -3.5% to salary per point (makes the assistant cheaper to keep)

Missions Edit

Missions are the activities that you send the assistant to do. There are three mission lengths and 5 different kinds of missions. All missions have a baseline 50% chance to succeed (dependability affects this). All non shopping missions grant a base 1% chance to get a gear drop (fashion sense affects this). Gear will only drop if the mission succeeds. All missions will grant experience regardless of success or failure.

Mission Lengths:

  • Short
    • 2 hours
    • Grants between 10-49 experience
  • Medium
    • 4 hours
    • Grants between 25-120 experience
  • Long
    • 8 hours
    • Grants between 65-310 experience

Mission Types:

  • Research Market Trends
    • Grants tokens
    • 2-4 tokens for short mission
    • 5-8 tokens for medium mission
    • 9-20 tokens for long mission
  • Brainstorm Session
    • Buffs meme's investments in R&D and Marketing
    • $2000-$4000 for short mission
    • $4000-$8000 for medium mission
    • $8000-$16000 for long mission
  • Day Trading
    • Buffs meme's cash on hand
    • $2000-$5000 for short mission
    • $5000-$10000 for medium mission
    • $10000-$15000 for long mission
  • Shopping Trip
    • Grants increased chances to get a gear drop
    • 10% for short mission
    • 35% for medium mission
    • 50% for long mission
  • Law suit
    • Removes from meme's cash on hand
    • $2000-$5000 for short mission
    • $5000-$10000 for medium mission
    • $10000-$15000 for long mission

Salary Edit

Salaries are paid out every Friday after earnings and dividends are paid out. As long as a user has positive cash on hand, the salaries of his or her assistants are paid and the assistants remain on payroll. However, salary payments can make the user's cash on hand go negative. If the user fails to get back to positive cash on hand during the following week, all of his or her assistants are removed from the system permanently.

Salaries Per Level:

Level Base Salary
1 $500
2 $1500
3 $2500
4 $3500
5 $4500
6 $5500
7 $6500
8 $7500
9 $8500
10 $10000
11 $12000
12 $14000
13 $16000
14 $18000
15 $20000

Gear Edit

There are five types of Gear, three tiers of gear drops; Low, Medium, and High, and two items of each tier. These tiers are distinguished by a Grey, Blue, or Gold border. Tier drop rate is affected by your Assistant's Fashion Sense attribute.

Suit Coat
Low Medium High
Bland Suit Coat
Bland Suit Coat
Sleek Suit Coat
Sleek Suit Coat
Luxurious Suit Coat
Luxurious Suit Coat
Plain Suit Coat
Plain Suit Coat
Sharp Suit Coat
Sharp Suit Coat
Extravagant Suit Coat
Extravagant Suit Coat
Low Medium High
Bland Pants
Bland Pants
Sleek Pants
Sleek Pants
Luxurious Pants
Luxurious Pants
Plain Pants
Plain Pants
Sharp Pants
Sharp Pants
Extravagant Pants2 Real
Extravagant Pants
Low Medium High
Bland Shoes2
Bland Shoes
Sleek Shoes
Sleek Shoes
Luxurious Shoes
Luxurious Shoes
Plain Shoes
Plain Shoes
Sharp Shoes
Sharp Shoes
Extravagant Shoes
Extravagant Shoes
Low Medium High
XXL 2010
XXXL 2020
ZC 2005
ZZC 2010
ZZZC 2020
Low Medium High
A Series 12
A-Series 12"
C Series 15
C-Series 15"
E-Series 17
E-Series 17"
B Series 12
B-Series 12"
D Series 15
D-Series 15"
F Series 17
F-Series 17"